How to write an email that gets opened and read
This email shouldn’t exist.
As an ex-government employee and a human with empathy, this makes me feel many things.
Instead, I'll approach this email as a C-suite Assistant.
An email sent to US government employees. [External] What did you do last week? Please reply to this email with approx. 5 bullets of what you accomplished last week and cc your manager. Please do not send any classified information, links, or attachments. Deadline is this Monday at 11:59pm EST.
I've written many emails and responded to many more. If you want to write emails that get read and acted upon, rather than sent to SPAM, or deleted, keep reading.
Email Address
❌ External email from a bunch of numbers "HR" account
The internal system is already cautioning the recipient against interacting with this email. That bunch of numbers in the address is suspicious too. Straight to SPAM.
✅ Use an official business email
Always send an important business email from your professional business account.
Emailing multiple recipients
❌ Reply All is an option
This email was sent to all employees. How many? He doesn't know.
But it's a lot. If just ONE "accidentally" hits the "reply all" button...
✅ Turn off "reply all"
There are different ways to prevent "reply all". Find out which one works with your email provider.
Who are you and what do you want?
❌ No introduction or sign-off
Who is this from? Why do they need this information? Can they have it?
We only know the answer because the sender tweeted about it and the Media shared it.
✅ Introduction and sign-off
Say hello. Introduce yourself and explain what you need and why.
Be personable but professional. Then sign off your email and add your custom email signature with your name, role, email address and contact information.
Use plain language
❌ Unclear language
It is impossible to email 5 bullets.
✅ Clear language
Use words and phrases people understand. Do not use jargon. If you have to use abbreviations, explain what the abbreviation means the first time you use it. Leaving room for interpretation could get messy.
Reasonable timeframes
❌ Very short timeframe
An email sent from a suspicious account on a Saturday afternoon with a full response expected before Tuesday. What would you think?
Possibly fake.
Manufactured urgency suggests bad leadership.
No work/life balance.
Amateur.
✅ Reasonable turnaround with options
Many government departments are only open Monday to Friday. Giving an employee one working day to try and keep their job with "5 bullets" is, at best, taking away hours from their already busy Monday.
Include all relevant information
❌ Missing important information
"Failure to respond will be taken as a resignation."
This was on Twitter. This is not on the email. Why is it not on the email?
✅ Share all necessary information
Give the recipient all the information they need to respond to your request. If it's necessary, include the consequences of inaction/late action.
I left out a few. Share what you spot in the comments.
So, it's bad. But this email shouldn't even exist. Government departments have processes in place to monitor and manage performance, including what to do when a position is no longer required.
Email writing improves with practice. This is an example of bad practice.
You can do better. I know I can.